What new moms really need!
Top 5 Ways to Support a New Mom:
So many people are having babies and if you’re one of the one’s in your circle who do not have any kids, I have created a list of ways you can support your family members or friends who just recently had a child or are currently withchild.
I really want to eliminate postpartum depression. I want to eliminate the “alone” feeling that a large number of new mothers feel. I want to help you guys understand how you can properly help us, all from a first time mother perspective.
Shall we get started?
Here are the top 5 ways to support a new mom:
Offer a Helping Hand –
It is hard for new moms to deal with their new title of motherhood. It is good if you offer a helping hand. New moms often face criticism from other established mothers rather than a helping hand. Nobody needs extra stress from judgy moms.
Here’s what you should do:
- Offer to cook a meal – Why? Because food is the way to everyone’s heart. Nah, just playing. But seriously, do you know how difficult it is trying to cook with a new baby?
Bruh, if the new mom is a nursing mom, cooking a meal becomes twice as hard. So coming by and cooking for the new mom is not only a lifesaver but also a very kind gesture that no one will turn down.
- Offer to watch after the baby – Why? So that the new mom can run some errands, take a nap, take a shower, or anything else that makes her feel like she’s apart of society once again.
- Offer to tag along – Why? Because so many new moms take off from work or end up having to leave their jobs to care for their little ones. Now they’re forced to do a ton things by themselves. (Dad has to “work”.) Tagging along with them, it will let them know that you are there for them and they need all the support that they can get.
The list goes on. Overall by offering a helping hand will show the new mom that you actually care. It’ll show the new mom that you are making an effort to help them recover mentally and physically.
Visit Not Invite –
It’s extremely difficult getting the baby ready and getting yourself ready, try coming over more often. The new mom will enjoy your company.
Don’t harass them with invites to your house.
Let’s be real, if you just gave birth to a child, would you want to constantly get up and dressed to travel to a person’s house? No.
Right, I didn’t think so.
If you do happen to swing by and visit then you need to make sure that your presence has a purpose. Do not bombard her with the highly annoying “how you should raise your child” speech.
If you plan on doing that, then please do not even bother coming by.
I think I am speaking for all new moms when I say, “NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOUR OPINION ON HOW WE SHOULD RAISE OUR CHILDREN.”
You should either serve a purpose or see the door.
Listening Ear –
Being a new mom is tough. So if your family member or close friend just had a baby, it would be very sweet of you if you would listen to them vent a little bit.
Venting will help them express all of their problems, get rid of the stress that has built up over time, etc.
There is no harm done with being a listening ear.
However, do not become a running mouth.
For example: If she complains about her spouse then don’t go back and say what she said. That’s just being messy. No one likes a messy person.
Also, if they did not ask you for a “tip”, then honey, do not give them your tips and suggestions. That can go really bad. (Thank me later.)
Acknowledge Her Existence –
Most new mothers begin to feel like they are no longer important. All of the phone calls they receive are about the baby, or people constantly want to chat about children.
Personal Story Time:
I literally stopped answering my phone after I gave birth to my daughter. A ton of people called me to ask me “how is the baby doing,” rather than asking me how am I doing. I was the mother after all, so I stopped picking up.
I was not about to talk on the phone about how my child is doing for 35 hours. You can talk to the static that you’re going to hear after I hang up this phone. Okurrrr* in my Cardi B voice*.
It not only made me angry but it also hurt my freaking feelings. I didn’t want to be bothered. I stopped texting people. I was completely done with everybody.
However, after a few weeks, a few of my family members and friends started asking me, “How are you doing?”. Totally acknowledging my existence. BINGO! That made me feel that I was important, made it known that I was still a human being, a person. It truly made me feel good again.
I just rambled all of that to say this, let the new mom know that she still is a person, do not make it all about the baby. You should ask her how she is doing, ask her about how she’s feeling. That is extremely important.
Make Things Family Friendly –
Since your family member or friend is a new mom, they will not have as much free time as you. Then she’ll have to find a babysitter, come up with the money to go out, etc. The whole thing is difficult, especially if she’s a nursing mom.
You should make things family friendly for her, that way you guys can still be able to have fun.
Here’s what you can do to make things family friendly yet still fun for her:
- Allow her to bring her kids to events
- Plan family friendly parties, brunches, or whatever else you like to plan
- Ask your friend to bring the baby and go out to dinner
The list goes on, you can plan fun things and tell her it’s okay to bring the baby. Let her know that things don’t have to change just because she’s a mother. This will make her feel more comfortable.
***Keep Your Opinions to Yourself***
Honey, let me tell you. This is the most annoying part about being a mother. People from all over will try to shove their opinions of how they think you should raise your child.
Not only is it annoying but it does NOT serve a purpose, it’s completely irrelevant, and it’s 100% never needed. Then to top it all of these people will literally try and shove it down your throat. No one wants to be forced your opinion.
This is a big turn off!
Motherhood is such a beautiful experience, however, it does get lonely. You do start to feel like you’re alone. You may start feeling like you’re no longer human or that you no longer have an identity of your own. Those are not good feelings.
In light of that, having a great support system will help you avoid feeling lonely and will help prevent postpartum depression. There are way too many moms who are suffering silently, so let’s eliminate postpartum depression and negative thinking!
Thanks for reading!
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