RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

Spousal Neglect: The Ultimate Relationship Killer

Spousal Neglect:

The Ultimate Relationship Killer –

broken heart love sad

It does not matter if you are married or not, when you’re in a relationship you want to feel like a priority. No one likes to feel neglected in a relationship and no one likes to feel like they’re always put last…. PERIOD!

Let’s be real, babes… the ultimate relationship killer (next to cheating) is feeling like you’re unimportant to the one you love.


Here are a Few Examples of Everyday Spousal Neglect Scenarios:


#1:

Little to None Phone Contact –

They never call you first, but somehow when you’re with them, they are always on the phone. So basically you start realizing that they know how to answer the phone, they just do not pick up the phone for you.

If you two have children together and they are not calling to check on the children, that is a huge turn off. Yet, they can be on the phone talking about hanging out and going out for drinks with their buddies.

You will begin to realize that that is a big no-no.


#2:

Uncomfortable Environment –

You two decide to start going to gatheringskickbacks, or casually hanging out with or without the kids. They do not include you in conversations. They do not make you feel welcome.

However, when you decide it’s time to leave, they blame you for feeling uncomfortable and they blame you for being the “Bitter Betty.”

When you do attempt to include yourself, they do not make you feel comfortable about trying to include yourself. So then you will start feeling uncomfortable once again and completely shut them out.


#3:

Inconsiderate Ways –

You go to the store to pick up stuff and ask them if they want anything or bring them back something without asking them. When it’s time for them to go to the store, they come back with only things for their self.

Say you guys have children, it’s known that most mothers can not go shopping for their self without picking up something for their children. When your spouse goes shopping, they only pick up something for their self. Totally disregarding if you or the children need anything.

This will definitely make you feel as if you’re not even thought about.


#4:

Never Listening to You but Listening to Outsiders –

This is self explanatory. They basically ignore you and focus their attention on others. It may be with your needs or with you as a whole. They do not listen to what you have to say, but listen to others. Even if it is the same thing that you have been telling them.

For example: 

You suggest to your significant other that you two should go shopping for some bathroom stuff. You have been telling them that you guys have to decorate the bathroom for a very long time. Time after time, they give you an excuse to why you two should not go shopping for bathroom items.

Basically killing your dreams of decorating and shutting you down.

However, one day their friend calls them suggesting that you guys should go out and purchase some items to make you bathroom look good. All of a sudden, your significant other acts like it’s such a golden idea. They act like it’s the best thing that they have ever heard.

Like you have never suggested it year after year.

Now you’re feeling annoyed. Why? Because why on earth does it have to take an outsider to suggest the same things you have been suggesting in order for them to finally take action.

Now, you do not even want to go anymore. It definitely killed your vibe.


Helpful Advice on how to Solve this Dilemma:

#1: You can talk things over with your spouse to let them know that you do not like being treated like you are not a priority.

#2: You can get a third party observer involved so that way they will be aware that their actions are noticeable outside of the household. You know, sometimes people feel like it’s no big deal if it’s only effecting you. However, it becomes a big deal if outsiders are aware of it as well.

Or Last Resort…

#3: You can leave them if things do not improve.


Overall….

These may seem like little things, but these are very important; it will make you feel like you are not a priority.

It only takes one second to:

  • Call your spouse
  • Include your spouse in group conversations
  • Think about your spouse while you’re out and consider picking them up stuff too
  • Stop being a selfish individual and be more considerate towards your spouse

Why?

It’s not a good feeling. You want to feel like you actually matter in a person’s life rather than feeling like you’re completely nonexistent.

Actions:

Solving this dilemma early on in your relationship is easier than later on in your relationship.

Please review my solutions and see if it could provide you any assistance on how to deal with this . 


If you experienced something similar to this or have a helpful piece of advice on how to deal this type of relationship problem please comment your response below!


Thanks for reading!

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